When Your Strength Becomes Weakness

It was 30 years ago on this sweltering summer day in New York City, up on the fourth floor of this steamy, un-air conditioned dance studio, right smack in the middle of Times Square. All the professional dancers took class there, alongside the aspiring dancers who dreamed of making it on the Great White Way. You couldn’t even see out the windows, which were completely steamed over, and the energy in the room it was palpable.

I had just struck the final pose of the high energy jazz combo, having quite literally left my all on the dance floor, when the teacher who had trained some of the most famous dancers and later became my mentor started walking slowly towards me. I will never forget that moment. There was a kind of hush in the studio as my sweat-drenched classmates parted to let our teacher pass. I felt the beads of sweat running down my nose and my forehead as I held the pose.

This was going to be my moment, I thought to myself. I have never, ever danced harder or better. I thought All eyes were on me.

“Hey, Canada”, he said, but at least he remembered I was the green kid from the Great White North. Here comes the compliment, I thought, still holding the pose ready to receive the acknowledgement. Wait for it..” Too strong”, he said. That’s it. That’s all he said. And then he turned his back on me and walked away.

What followed was a deli roast chicken, a case of beer and a whole lot of tears. I was devastated.

I had never felt so knocked down and I sure as heck had never been criticized before for my strength.

It was my asset. It’s what set me apart. It was what would get me where I wanted to go, or was it? These days? In my coaching practice, I have found that it isn’t uncommon for my high-performing clients to default to their strengths.

They rely on doing things the same way, because they believe that if it worked before, then it will always work.

Don’t get me wrong. These are very accomplished people who have developed some serious skills and ways of operating, and I can’t really blame them either, since most of these strengths and habits are behind their high levels of success.

Up until now, like me in the dance studio all those years ago, although my strength was what got me to where I was that day, dancing among the pros in New York City, it wasn’t the thing that was going to get me where I wanted to go.

Next, when we default to our strengths, or even to what we always do because it works. We end up overshadowing aspects of ourselves and missing out on other possibilities, experiences and areas to grow.

Think about it. I don’t know, maybe you’re known for something. You’ve become almost unconsciously competent in an area of your life that you don’t even need to think about it. Everyone assumes that you’re going to do it. It’s expected of you and you know how to deliver and it feels familiar. Therefore, it must be right.

But I’m here to tell you that we all walk a fine line between getting into the groove and falling into a rut with any established routine or habit or way of doing something.

What are you missing out on by resorting to doing things the same way? By ordering the same thing at the restaurant or warming up the same way before a performance. What happens when your favorite item on the menu isn’t available or your pre-show warm-up doesn’t seem to be working anymore?

What happens when you realize you haven’t developed a taste for anything else on the menu or learned other ways to prepare to perform?

You see, our strengths don’t need to become our defaults. They can be valued tools in our toolkit or even jewels in our collection that we can consciously call upon when we choose. These are well-developed things. Your strengths are not going anywhere when you’re not using them.

I promise you that you will discover other new and interesting items on your own menu of abilities.

I encourage you to let go of being the expert and adopt a growth mindset. Acknowledge your strengths by all means, but don’t rely on them. There is so much more room to grow and expand.

I’m Lisa Hopkins. Thanks so much for listening. Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember to live in the moment.

Listen to Audio Version here!

Published in Collaboration with:

Also by Lisa Hopkins:

The Power of Letting Go

Learning to Shift Your Mindset

Join TheatreArtLife to access unlimited articles, our global career center, discussion forums, and professional development resource guide. Your investment will help us continue to ignite connections across the globe in live entertainment and build this community for industry professionals. Learn more about our subscription plans.