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So often, all of us are guilty of forgetting that there is no time limit for success. One of the biggest mistakes we make when working towards a big goal is that we attach our success to a specific timeline. We work diligently for x amount of years, months, weeks, and suddenly we get to a point where we think, “this just isn’t working, I should give up and move on”.
Many times we are blinded by the bright light of our big goals–the glitz and the glamour. We are so focused on the result that we forget to enjoy the process. We neglect to see all the changes we’ve made along the way, all the hurdles we’ve leapt over, all the fears we’ve overcome, and all the progress we’ve already made.
More often than not, the goal we think we want isn’t the end goal. Sometimes we realise the goal wasn’t what we needed or wanted all along. Occasionally we realise that the true goal was to see ourselves differently – more expansively than we did before.
Instead of asking “when is it going to happen?”, ask yourself:
Who are you becoming in the pursuit of your goal?
Who have you already become?
Who do you want to become?
Achieving the goal is the boring part. I will bet that if every goal you ever set came easily to you, you’d find it incredibly unfulfilling. The fun is in the process of pursuing the goal. Making mistakes and figuring out how to do better next time is the thrill. The interesting part is seeing the person you are becoming, the beautiful people you are meeting along the way, and the rewards that come from creating something bigger than yourself. The goal is the easy part.
It took four years for Michelangelo to complete the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and the same for Leonardo Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa. These time frames don’t even cover the years of mastery needed to create at the level they did.
Here are a few questions for you to think about if you find yourself in the position of wanting to give up on a goal:
Who was I when I first pursued this goal?
Who am I now?
What progress have I made so far?
What successes have I had so far?
What mistakes have I made?
What have I learned from those mistakes?
Is there anything I am doing right now that needs to be tweaked in order to help me continue on the path I am pursuing?
Happiness isn’t on the other side of your goal. It is in the goal’s pursuit. Learn to love the process, and never allow time to define your success.
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Originally from Barbados, Crystal Nicholls is a Professional Dancer and Nutrition Coach, based in London. She has performed on tv, the high seas, and Disney’s The Lion King. Through her 1:1 coaching programs, she helps high level performers overcome stress, to find balance in their lives and achieve their goals.
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