I started a blog back in 2016 before becoming a coach about a year before losing my mother. I had never blogged and had no idea what I was doing except that I knew I had something to say and needed somewhere to say it.
I recently came across it again and, with your permission, wanted to share a brief excerpt from something I wrote back then. It still rings true for me today and, I hope, might also resonate with you.
So when I wrote it in 2016, my husband and I were “empty nesters” , having left our baby at college that September. But the nest wasn’t empty at all because, as she spread her wings and embarked on a new chapter of her life, we too-like excited college students-started yet another adventure together in NYC. Although we had spent most of our adult years living and working in there, this was the first time that it was just the two of us living right in the city. since we were newlyweds-immigrants-with no prospects, a student visa and a ten month lease.
It is from our tiny sublet on the upper west side that I wrote this passage 5 years ago. It’s important to note that the apartment number was 1F.
I’m not sure if I noticed it right away, or even how long it had been there. Its once shiny gold background and proud bold black lettering peeled slightly away from the wood grain door; just above the peephole. I tried to imagine who had put it there, and whether or not they recognized the irony of our new address, one F which, to me clearly read “IF”.
“IF”. The seemingly harmless little two-letter word is quite possibly one of the most powerful in our vocabulary.
I have seen it in action, boosting the unwavering passion and determination of the young college students I teach downtown every day.
“if I just work harder I will reach my goals”
Perhaps even more often, I have heard the little word-, – strenuously holding back so many of the adults I encounter who woefully reflect “if only I had …”.
I have always tended toward the first usage of the word. Ever the eternal optimist, I smiled when I recognized the moniker on my apartment door. I read it as a kind of affirmation of the endless amount of possibilities open to us – IF – we open our minds and hearts and, indeed our eyes, to see them.
Regret can’t exist in the moment, only the chance to be.
How ironic that I am sharing this with you today on my podcast which just happens to be called “STOPTIME: Live in the Moment”. I encourage you to discover the power of this tiny two-letter word, and recognize it for the endless possibilities that it offers us. The ones that are available to us right now, in this moment – as long as we choose to move forward unconditionally.
Had someone told me 5 years ago that I’d be building my practice as a life coach and using my words to help elevate and celebrate others, I’d never have believed them. I only had 3 “followers” on my blog at the time and two of them were my parents. There was but one comment and it came from my mom, a little over a year before she passed suddenly in 2017. I reread the comment today, it said:
—— finding your musings thought provoking, interesting and a fun read. Keep it up !!
And so in that spirit and with your grace that is what will continue to do.
I’m Lisa Hopkins, thanks for listening – stay safe and healthy and remember to live in the moment.
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