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Recently my wife and I went on our honeymoon. We flew in to Rome and a few days later boarded the Norwegian Spirit and began our cruise of Italy and Greece. It was on this ship that she was reminded what it is like to be a celebrity, or at least married to one. As a performer, I am used to some level of recognition wherever I go; not just from my previous shows but also from my frequent attendance at karaoke. It also helps that my name is Big Sexy.
On more than one occasion my wife, Jamelle, has had random strangers come up to her full of excitement, call her by name and express how much they love her. Kind of freaked her out for a while. Each story just made me laugh. She has eventually gotten used to people knowing who she is without knowing them. Although, I’m sure it still freaks her out a little bit.
We decided we wanted to do a cruise for our honeymoon and make it a big one. We chose Italy and Greece and decided on the eleven-day journey.
I warned her that eleven days gives me plenty of time to become well-known on the ship and, vicariously, she will be well-known as well. Having experienced this phenomenon at home she claimed she was ready for it. She wasn’t.
About two weeks prior to the cruise, for no reason at all really, I began doing this silly little dance. I would place my hands by my side, palms up and move them in a circular fashion on the side of my hips while shaking said hips. I would do this to any song, anywhere and claim it was the new, hot dance. She would tell me “No, that’s not a thing!” I would, of course, reply “Oh, this is the next big thing!” We would go back and forth. I eventually said I would make this dance the hottest thing in Europe and spread it around the world.
We spent four days in Rome prior to boarding the ship and sadly, my dance wasn’t catching on. She would delight in pointing this out and I kept up my diligence and did my silly little boogie. We get to the ship and that’s when things changed. We entered a mock game show called “The Newlywed, Not So Newlywed Game” and the first question for my wife was “what weird or embarrassing thing does your husband do that makes you say ‘Oh God, stop it’ whenever he does that thing?” Well, obviously, fresh on my wife’s mind was my silly little dance. The next question was “What phrase, sound or saying would be repeated if you had a parrot in your bedroom for a month?” Her answer was “hottie tottie booty cha.” More on that later. The next two questions were somewhat irrelevant and not that interesting. The stage for instant celebrity had been set and I was about to make it happen.
The men returned to answer the questions. When Dave, the cruise director asked me the question (oh, by the way, my name is Big Sexy and my wife named herself “Mrs Sexy”) about the embarrassing action I stood up and did my little dance. The crowd went wild. How could they not? Then Dave asked me the second question.
A little background is needed for this part. My wife doesn’t know a lot of songs. I do. When we listen to a song she likes but may not know the words, she will add “hottie tottie booty cha” and claims “it always makes any song better.” We listen to a lot of music in the house. We say “hottie tottie booty cha” A LOT. It really is fun to say. Go ahead, try it. Listen to any song and along the rhythm sing those words. It’s hard to not start laughing when you do. We like to laugh.
Back on the ship, Dave asked me about the parrot in the bedroom. My answer was “if I’m being loving I’d say it’s ‘I love you more’ (which is true we say that a lot as well) but if I’m being honest Dave, it’s ‘hottie tottie booty cha.” The crowd erupted and Dave stared in amazement wanting more details but afraid to ask. Jamelle and I are cracking up, amazed that this private, inside joke is now very public. Celebrity status locked. Once they sent the women away the status would become reinforced. Mainly for the people watching the show and it was a full house.
The clincher came when Dave asked, “what is the weirdest thing your wife has ever seen you do naked?” By now, you can guess what I did. Naturally, when she came out and was asked the question she answered appropriately and my silly little dance became a thing.
People from all walks of life and around the globe now felt compelled to greet us with my silly little dance. We were “The Sexys” and my dance was our signature.
Then we found out that the show was recorded for the ship network and broadcast for the next two days on repeat. Everyone, well, almost everyone, had seen the show and the greetings and looks of recognition increased. Hearing “Big Sexy and Mrs Sexy” in so many different accents was both exhilarating and educational. I was learning what it meant to truly be internationally known. People would tell me they were taking my dance back home to their country and get people to do it there. I would look at my wife and just smile and smile.
Keep in mind this was only day three of an eleven-day cruise. By now at least two-thirds of the ship knew who we were including most of the staff. We had reached one of the highest levels of celebrity I have ever had the privilege to reach. It felt great. As somewhat of a local celebrity back home I was prepared. My wife kept admitting that it was difficult to get used to and if this is what it meant to be married to a star she was going to have to do a lot of mental preparation. I told her this cruise was good practice.
Upon returning home after an amazing honeymoon {#besthoneymoonevah) it felt weird to not have that celebrity status anymore. As I went back to my menial job during the week and my only performance was on Saturdays I found myself missing it all. It has actually driven me to pursue more projects to get me more known so that I can have that cruise ship star status on land. I am now working to make Big Sexy a known entity and make my wife slightly uncomfortable.
It’s time for her to mentally prepare.
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Big Sexy was born James R. White in Rialto, CA. He received his BA in Theatre Arts with an emphasis in acting from CSU, San Bernardino. He has worked with Second City, The Groundlings and IO Comedy Sports. He has performed in a variety of shows and musicals including "Keep Hedz Ringin" (A Hip Hop Opera), "The Rocky Horror Show", "Othello", "Hamlet: The Artist Formerly Known as Prince of Denmark", and "The Last Emancipation". In 2009 Big Sexy relocated to Las Vegas. He began hosting with Karate Karaoke and rejoined the improv community, performing with The Lost Episodes, heavy involvement in the All You Can Improv Jam and S.E.T. which were weekly improv shows where he performed with his troupes Big Fun, The Lumberjacks, Phil 'N Sexy and Words With Frienemies. He was a cast member of FREE BEER! The Improv Show, Evil Dead The Musical, The Aussie Improv Comedy Explosion at the V Theater, Alibi The Show. Big Sexy is currently the School Program Director for the Shakespeare Institute of Nevada. He volunteers as an Improv coach at Mojave High School and works with Drama Kids International. Constantly writing he is now writing his first musical "Reservate This!'
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