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A couple of years ago my sister and I were in the British Museum in London. We were admiring some beautiful Hindu statues when we saw one described as “Lord Shiva dancing on the dwarf of ignorance.” After joking about renaming our small but silly dog The Dwarf of Ignorance, I read up on the subject. The idea has stuck with me ever since.
The story goes that Apasmara is a demon who represents ignorance, selfishness, and laziness. Although he is referred to as a dwarf, he actually has the body of a child, reflecting his immaturity and small-mindedness (rather than someone with dwarfism). The god Shiva wanted to vanquish him but realised that to maintain balance he shouldn’t kill him. In a world without ignorance, all knowledge would come to everyone without effort and so would become valueless. Instead, he decided to keep him crushed under one foot while joyfully dancing. Apasmara is immortal, but he can be kept in check with education and good-humour.
That colleague who acts like they’re more intelligent than they really are or the one who always has to take a phone call when there’s work to be done. That client who is patronising and rude and the ones who treat you like an idiot even though you know more about the subject at hand than them.
They can be frustrating and they can make you want to scream. You desire to tell them exactly how annoying they are or turn around and simply leave the situation. However, arguing rarely gets you anywhere and being rude is not going to change anyone’s mind. Leaving might be better than saying something you’ll regret later, but it won’t make things better for you or the next person who has to work with them.
You’ll achieve much more if you approach the situation calmly, try to see things from their point of view and discuss it with them. Sometimes people don’t realise that what they’re doing is wrong and all they need is to have it discreetly pointed out to them. Sometimes it can take a little persuading, but engaging them with openness and cordiality is more likely to bring them round than bickering. Even if it doesn’t, it saves you from appearing unprofessional and you can walk away with your head held high, knowing you tried your best.
That petty and mean part of us that makes snap judgments about people, that lashes out at others because you feel threatened or embarrassed or one who blames others for your own mistakes. There are those parts of you that may put other people down to make yourself seem clever, who may do a half-assed job because you couldn’t be bothered, that gives in to addictions because it’s easier than facing up to what’s causing them.
More recently this has been called the ‘lizard brain’ because these impulses usually come from our basal ganglia: the most rudimentary part of our brain, which controls basic instincts. This exemplary blog refers to it as our ‘inner mammoth’. Cognitive behavioural therapy categorises these thoughts as negative neural pathways, which are often well-worn and easy to default to if you don’t have the time or energy to overcome them. It’s particularly easy to let them take over when you’re tired or stressed, which is a pretty common state in this job!
Perhaps counter-intuitively, we can often act rudely because we’re afraid of what people think of us. I know I get more snappy and make stupid mistakes if I’m stressing about getting something I find difficult right, or ironically if I’m trying to make a good impression!
The more you educate yourself, not only about the gear you use and the principles behind your job but also about how we all think and interact, the easier it will become to battle your own demon of ignorance. It is definitely not easy. I’ve lost friends, work and relationships because of my demon of ignorance, and I still find it raising its sniveling little head on a pretty much daily basis.
I’m sorry to say it still wins sometimes, and it feels awful. As the story goes, it will never go away, but once you learn to acknowledge when it happens, you can take a step back and do your best to counteract it. You can also learn to recognise it in others. Help them by showing compassion and understanding. In time, you can make your workplace a less stressful, more productive and all-round more pleasant place to be, and even do the same for your personal life. Then you can have a good laugh at Apasmara’s expense.
Article by SoundGirl: Beth O’Leary
Another great article by SoundGirls: Missy Thangs: Engineer & Producer, An Interview
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The mission of SoundGirls.org is to inspire and empower the next generation of women in audio. Our mission is to create a supportive community for women in audio and music production, providing the tools, knowledge, and support to further their careers. SoundGirls.Org was formed in 2013 by veteran live sound engineers Karrie Keyes and Michelle Sabolchick Pettinato and operates under the Fiscal Sponsorship of The California Women’s Music Festival, a 501(c)3 non-profit organization. In 2012, Karrie and Michelle participated in the “Women of Professional Concert Sound” panel at the AES Conference in San Francisco. The panel was hosted by the Women’s Audio Mission (WAM) and moderated by WAM founder Terri Winston. Terri brought together five women working in live and broadcast audio. The groundbreaking panel (which also included Jeri Palumbo, Claudia Engelhart and Deanne Franklin), provided young women and men a glimpse into life on the road, tips and advice, and a Q & A with the panelists. More importantly though, was how incredibly powerful the experience was for the panelists. We had all been in the business for 20 years or more, yet most of us had never met before that day and within minutes we bonded like long-lost sisters. We were struck by how similar our experiences, work ethics, and passions were and wondered why our paths had never crossed and how our careers would have been different had we been there to support each other through the years. Each of us are strong on our own, but together we were even stronger and a powerful force. We were empowered. Each of us had been asked hundreds of times in our careers: Are there other women doing sound? How did you get into sound? How would a young woman go about getting into sound? Through creating SoundGirls.Org, we hope to establish a place for women working in professional audio to come for support and advice, to share our success and failures, our joys and frustrations, and for empowerment and inspiration.
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