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Imagine a scenario where you are the landlord, and you have a tenant who has been living upstairs for as long as you can remember. The tenant is loud and opinionated, and has, on many occasions, kept you up at night, unable to block out the noise. You’ve considered evicting them, but you always avoid confrontation instead. Besides, maybe the tenant is right. Maybe your demands are too much. The tenant doesn’t contribute at all to the environment you share and criticizes you anytime you try to make an improvement in your living conditions. They don’t even pay rent! In fact, it costs YOU to have them stay in your home. And yet you let them stay.
Now you might be thinking, “no way! I would never put up with that!”
AND YET WE DO.
In coaching we call it a “gremlin”: an inner block that may present itself as the voice in your head, telling you that you aren’t good enough, aren’t ready, don’t deserve success, etc. You get the idea.
Gremlins thrive on fear and creating feelings of inadequacy. They reside in your head and will stay “upstairs” until you acknowledge them for what they are, and invite them “downstairs,” closer to your heart.
Once recognized, it’s natural to feel anger and blame toward your gremlins. However, I encourage you to look at it a different way. Gremlins are there for a purpose. They’ve been with you since you were born; they are a part of you.
Let’s call this one Gail (a coaching acronym for inner blocks). Once you recognize how much Gail has been blocking your path to success, invite her down and let her know that you understand the negative talk was intended to protect you. Validate her for wanting to help, and acknowledge that it may very well have helped before, but that you’ve got this now and don’t need protecting. Maybe even offer your thanks. This is where inner blocks begin to be released and the foundation for a healthier relationship with your tenant begins.
CREATE A NEW ROLE FOR YOUR GREMLIN. SOMETHING WITH A POSITIVE ENERGY. REWRITE HER DIALOGUE TO SOMETHING THAT SERVES YOU. YOU DON’T NEED HER TO MOVE OUT – IN HER NEW ROLE SHE CAN HELP YOU MOVE FORWARD!
Now imagine: the next day, on your way to that audition or job interview, your tenant yells down to you and says “you’ve got this!” When you get home that night, instead of hearing all of the reasons you may have screwed up that day, she says “Sleep well! You did a great job today.”
And you smile, because you know in your heart that she is right.
Published in Collaboration with:
Strengthening the Divine Muscle of Choice
Lisa is an ICF Certified Professional Life Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner at Wide Open Stages. She specializes in partnering with highly successful creative people who want to be challenged and inspired to become artists in all areas of their lives. A passionate creative professional herself, Lisa has over 25 years experience working in the performing arts industry as a director/choreographer, producer, writer and dance educator in NYC, nationally and internationally. She is dance faculty at Pace University NYC in the Commercial Dance and Musical Theater BFA programs, and is co-founder of New York Stage Originals, an internationally recognized theatrical production company. Lisa hosts the popular podcast STOPTIME: Live in the Moment and is founder of Wide Open Stages, where she coaches high-performing creatives in the performing arts industry.
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