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Every night when I come home from work, I face two choices: One, wash up, read for about 5 minutes before I get completely drowsy, then fall asleep for a solid 6 hours. Or two, wash up, have a glass of wine, check Facebook, have another glass of wine. Have a snack that I promised myself I wouldn’t have when I poured the first glass. Get a solid 5 hours of sleep – or less if Facebook is particularly interesting that evening.
Clearly, choice one is the wiser choice for a multitude of reasons. More sleep, fewer calories, and a better disposition the next morning. But here’s why choice two almost always wins out – “Me” time. And wine. And the only Me time I get all day. And wine. One of the most important things I’ve learned about myself since becoming a parent is, I am a very selfish person.
I have no doubt every person (not just parents) feel that way, so I realize it’s normal. But I still feel guilty about it every damn day.
Many days, I get to choose between spending an hour in the morning on either exercise or on doing household chores. No matter what I choose, I will inevitably feel guilty about not choosing the other. And let’s face it – both choices are losing battles.
And then I feel guilty about the 5-hour-energy drinks I consume to get me through the day. I’m certain that I have built up a tolerance to the toxic crap and they don’t actually do anything for me. I feel guilty if I drink them for a little energy boost. I feel guilty if I don’t drink them and have no energy for upcoming activities.
And then I feel guilty about the money I spend on energy drinks. So then I do things like switch to the Costco brand of 5-Hour-Energy to save money on something I shouldn’t be consuming in the first place.
Then I feel guilty for not saving the money I’m spending on energy drinks, so we can do something fun as a family. Like travel back east to visit family and friends we haven’t seen in years. Or more selfishly, so I can travel to Europe for the first time. Something my husband has promised me we will do by the time we’re 65. Only 29 more years to wait!
And I’ll probably have plenty of money left over to drink a crap-ton of European wine.
And then I feel guilty that I feel guilty about all of these things because they are the most trivial things to feel guilty about. This is a whole lot of guilt to deal with, and you know how I deal with it? Wine. Preferably late at night after a long day of work.
Stage Managers And Human Reaction Time
Fake It Till You Make It Some More
Mary Barnett hates talking about herself in the 3rd person, almost as much as she hates writing her own bio. Before she was able to complain about such trivial things, Mary graduated with a B.A. in Theatre/Speech from Wagner College – located on Staten Island, merely a few miles from one of the largest landfills in the world. While living in New York after college, Mary stage managed shows with Prospect Theatre Company, New York Classical Theatre, Shawnee Playhouse, and College Light Opera Company. She then hit the road with the national tours of “Rent” and “Seussical the Musical,” and eventually landed in Las Vegas with “Avenue Q” at The Wynn Hotel, followed by a brief stint with Penn & Teller. Mary has worked for Cirque du Soleil since 2006, mostly at “The Beatles LOVE” where she is currently General Stage Manager. She also spent a blissful 10 weeks with Cirque du Soleil’s “KA,” and was Production Stage Manager for the 2015 benefit performance for the foundation "One Night for One Drop". Mary’s husband is an Automation technician for Cirque du Soleil’s “Michael Jackson ONE,” and they are attempting to raise their 2 kids with minimal exposure to strippers and gambling.
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