First trimester (weeks 4-12)
There’s no anticipating how good or bad you will feel. Some women have no symptoms and others can’t keep down water. You really won’t know til you’re there.
Morning sickness can be like the worst hangover ever for weeks. You know the feeling when you’re at a greasy diner with a horrible hangover and the smell of food makes you want to vomit but you know you need to eat to feel better? That was 23.5 hours a day for me for 6 weeks.
There’s a good chance you’re irritable and grouchy.
During the weeks I wasn’t eating much, my fuse was short, I didn’t have much of a filter and I had no patience for BS or attitude.
I didn’t take on extracurricular gigs or stressful work during this time knowing my client etiquette and demeanor would probably be poor.
Exhaustion can be overwhelming – I had a yoga mat in my recording booth and would sometimes take a quick nap during breaks. Working swing shift was great because I could sleep in or leave work a little early if I was having a rough day.
The first trimester can be isolating. All of this is going on and you may not feel comfortable telling anyone. It can help at work to have someone in-the-know who can nudge the crew to eat their smelly pizza elsewhere or change the topic when someone teases you for not going out for a drink.
Second trimester (weeks 13-26)
Forgetfulness. The struggle of “pregnancy brain” is real. I was a guest on a podcast and could not remember the names of the plugins in my channel strip that I’ve used daily for at least 5 years. At work, I had to take extra notes and sometimes ask for detailed/complicated things in writing.
Need to focus on something? Good luck. Normally I have laser focus and can work for hours without being distracted. During pregnancy, I sometimes felt like a kid who was hyped on sugar and had a puppy in the room. I had to plan for extra time on mixes knowing I might get totally sidetracked or completely forget what I was doing.
Peeing all the time. There’s a reason for the old saying “bladder of a pregnant woman” (It’s hormone related.)
Even with all this going on, you might feel like Superwoman. In my second trimester, I did a demanding scoring session in Canada (with long work days) and spent a week in Europe walking 5-10 miles a day. In both cases, I felt great (and ate more than the people I was traveling with).
You’ll start feeling the “thing” that’s living in your body. I’ve never been so excited to be kicked in the stomach.
Third trimester (weeks 27 +)
Baby can hear! Babies start to hear between 23 and 27 weeks (especially low frequencies) and they can be startled by loud sounds. My little dude would often get squiggly/active when I was mixing. Studies show that babies recognize their mom’s voice after birth and will recognize patterns they heard while in utero (like if you read the same story out loud every day).
You will have some physical limitations. As your belly grows, little things become difficult (socks are my nemesis). Heavy lifting restrictions may start earlier in pregnancy, too, in part because of a hormone called relaxin which causes your joints to loosen.
People may step in to help more than you want. People have good intentions but sometimes visibly pregnant women are treated as disabled or incapable. Staying active through pregnancy is great for your health (and your recovery).
You never know if/when you’ll be forced off your feet. I was shocked to be admitted to the hospital and put on bedrest at 29 weeks when I felt fine and worked the night before. I was planning to work as long as I physically could but ended up on disability for over two months instead.
Things to consider when you’re working and pregnant:
There are times you can’t function at full speed. This especially applies to the early and late months. Early on, I kept my schedule light and didn’t commit to anything more than a week ahead (when possible). I also turned down gigs unless I knew for sure I could handle it (I passed on a gig in China during peak morning sickness, for example).
Guy awkwardness. One of the times it can be difficult to work with a team of guys is when you have something “female” going on. Once the weirdness passes (if there is any), pregnancy can be a fun topic to talk about – especially the name suggestions and bizarre questions.
Girl awkwardness. Being “one of the guys” in this field may also mean we don’t have many girlfriends, let alone close ones, who can pass down maternity clothes or give advice on breastfeeding.
The jump from Audio Engineer to Mom can be completely foreign. Part of the challenge is finding resources and people who you feel comfortable asking for that kind of support.
You may get philosophical about your career. There’s a lot of questions about what your new life will look like. How do you want to balance work and a baby – or are you going back to work? If you are career-oriented or pride yourself on your work accomplishments, how are you going to handle being away from that? How will you balance your own identity and needs with your kid’s needs? Are you prepared to be “Mom” sometimes before “engineer”?
In theory, you can work til labor. It’s totally safe to travel until late in pregnancy (each airline has a point where you need a doctor’s note to fly). One of my doctors said she preferred her patients to stay working, saying,“You could take time off, but I don’t want you sitting on the couch eating and worrying.”
Or you may be forced to stop completely. One in ten women deliver prematurely (before 36 weeks) and babies over 24 weeks have a good chance of survival. At 6 months pregnant most women aren’t thinking or planning for delivery but it’s a risk that’s worth planning for. I’m looking forward to my new “gig” (and to meet my new little assistant). I hope other women will share their stories of pregnancy and parenthood so we can create a resource where one doesn’t really exist.